Maria Nicanor

misfit toy

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25 novembro 2013

She ran because she thought there was hope and waited with that huge part of her that still lingers. But then, for the first time in her life, she saw there was not and she felt like all her self was gone. And again, for the first time in her life, she actually felt jealous, she knew she had been forgotten.
It felt just like meat served up repeatedly, cold, comfortless and distasteful. There was no stomach that wouldn't turn against it. All she could feel was a thorn that irritated and hurt. It was a sword that kills.
She went home by foot hoping she could walk forever.
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13 novembro 2013

The moon was a sliver. As old as she was, she didn't see the moon as round. She saw it as the shape of the light, no matter that she knew better.She lay back and rested her head in her hands. She stared upward and felt frustrated at the murk of constellations. She secretly suspected that all those people who claimed to see them were making it up.
When the moon got lost in a cloud, she got back in the house. She could see him in the kitchen stowing air in the cupboards and she could understand that air must be stowed. They were both too tired to reason.
He went ahead and sat close by and they stood there for what it seemed to her hours.
She closed her eyes and she heard his breathing. He lay back beside her. She liked him there, but she didn't turn her head to look at him.
When she was nearly asleep, she sensed him moving besides her and she felt his head on her stomach. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? He let the weight of it settle on her gradually asking permission in his way.
She felt the sad acceleration of her heart, a misbehaving organ if ever there was one. She knew he could hear it too.
She felt the weight of his head in her lap as she had before. Heads were heavy.
She let her hand rest on his ear, his forehead, his cheek.
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02 novembro 2013

They had battled and bloodied one another, they had kept secrets, broken hearts.. They had walked away and somehow, everytime, they have mended. They had forgiven. They had survived. Some mistakes could never be fixed- some but not all. Some people can't be driven away, no matter how hard you try. Some friendships won't break.
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