Maria Nicanor

misfit toy

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18 setembro 2013

Ela chega vestida numa mágoa escondida sem me olhar nos olhos. Não sei bem o que sente, não o diz. Ah tu tão tu, eu tão eu, nós sem nós.
Sei sem saber, com um ou outro olhar, num instinto de quem já viu antes o que acontece aqui, que para mim não é possivel suportar a barreira invisivel que muraste sobre nós. E dói. Dói doendo a dor sem sangrar, sentir que não é mais possivel respirar, assim, com essa ferida sem cicatriz, com esse nó na garganta, pernas bambas para não chorar.
Mas estás tão longe nessa voz austera que enviou a nossa cumplicidade num voo sem retorno..
E o meu coração clama palavras que eu pensei já não saber dizer. Diz que te ama. Mesmo que não lembres mais porquê, és metade de mim. E serás sempre a melhor metade.
Tu és a minha irmã de coração, a minha mãe, a minha filha.
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12 setembro 2013

As a little girl she used to live in this big house where there was no room for much toys. She was always moving from place to place like she was one of those from no man's land.
When she was five, she used to nag her mother for her to teach her how to read and at first grade she already read better and faster than a lot of kids. She read car magazines that her stepfather used to left over and her father helped her reading the subtitles from motorcycle and F1 races. She was in love with the design and that has been by far her dearest passion throughout all these years.
She kept this girl hidden but sometimes it was good to let her out. She grabbed some air and she got back inside, to the deepness of her being. She found comforting that there was always someone who came into her life that liked her for being the geek tomboy and the fashionista. It felt good to be both. It felt good to be herself completely.
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09 setembro 2013

We live in the wonder age living the wonder years where things come and things go. (Oh dear, if it were only things..) The friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect. The ones who stuck by you shoulder to shoulder, when you had built your wall so high for no one to climb and, they patiently waited on the other side breaking down every brick of it. They were there, in a time when nothing was certain, all life ahead, and every road lead home.
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05 setembro 2013

She peaks at him. He's still asleep, lying on his back, his face so peaceful and relaxed, she actually thinks she can detect a slight smile on his lips. Without those new, reading squared glasses, he looks shockingly vulnerable. Last night, after they kissed for a bit and he did the sexy librarian thing and took of his specs, they stared and stared into each other's eyes. She felt like she could see his entire history in his pupils.
She could know everything about him in a way she'd never known before. It was a little eerie, but also kind of profound.
She guessed that was what she found most surprising about sex: the knowing. How could you understand a person completly and vice versa.
'Good morning, lover', she murmurs quietly.
His mouth pops open and he wakes, pounding his pillow in confusion. But then he see's her and he makes that smile that makes her legs tremble. 'Hey, kiddo..', he pulls up his head and smiles. 'You've never looked more beautiful.. Did anyone ever tell you how pretty you look in the morning?'
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01 setembro 2013

You were my blackbone when my body ached with wearyness. You were my hometown when my heart was filled with loneliness. You are my only hope, the truth that dealt the consequence. Just when the lights are off, I know who I dream of. For what it's worth.. you my everything.
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