You will always grow stronger and never weaker and they won't beat you down. You are a warrior and you might have lost your battle but you never lost your dignity, it's not you that is unworthy.
Now just forget, you will never wonder anymore, there's nothing more to wonder: you got the answer to all your doubts. And if you find some space in you heart  forgive him, because he does not know what he's doing and move on. Without knowing, he gave you freedom at last, freedom to love yourself more again.
I know that life's blows couldn't ever broke people whose spirit is warmed at the fire of enthusiasm  but  that doesn't mean it won't hurt. And, honestly, I'm so sorry I can't change the direction of the wind, because I would adjust the sails always to reach me. You are too pure and genuine to suffer, I'm my own demon, I'm numb.