naoquerofalardesexo
Maria Nicanor

misfit toy

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31 dezembro 2012


The girl, his favourite, ran up boldly, embraced him and hung laughingly on his neck, enjoying as she always did the smell of scent that came from his flesh. At last, she kissed his face, which was flushed from his stooping posture and beaming with tenderness loosed her hands, and was about to run away again, but he held her back.
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30 dezembro 2012


He was not merely liked by all who knew him for his good humor, but for his bright disposition and his unquestionable honesty. In him, in his handsome, radiant figure, his sparkling eyes, blond hair and eyebrows, and the white and red of his face, there was something which produced a physical effect of kindliness and good humor on the people who met him.
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26 dezembro 2012


Já passava da meia noite quando me perguntaste se já tinham ido todos dormir e eu te disse que sim.
Ouvi o bater na janela e abri-a, evocando toda a minha sorte para que pouco ou nada se pudesse escutar, e tu, trepaste com a maior das facilidades aquele ferro velho e ferrugento no jardim entristecido da minha avó. Deitaste-te comigo e acordaste de todas as vezes que me sentia pior e eu voltava a adormecer no teu abraço até a madrugada te levar.
Mais uma vez o facto de eu não estar a sentir-me bem te trouxe até mim, mais uma vez fez com que não custasse tanto estar doente.
You make me feel like we are in some kind of movie.
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22 dezembro 2012


Estou cansada, demasiado cansada para me preocupar com quem irá ler isto ou não.. O ser humano já não me cativa, e já me habituei a esta felicidade fingida. A sala está cheia, mas sinto-me tão isolada.. apetece-me morrer.
Amanhã preciso de dar o meu melhor, tu és quem percebe melhor se estou feliz.
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Maybe I'm not always asking if you are okay or I might not seem worried about you, but I don't like to ask questions about matters, I like to know that you feel comfortable enough to tell me so.
Maybe I forget to say how much I adore you.. I don't really do well with words of kindness either, but as my beloved Jane Austen once wrote, "there is nothing I wouldn't do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature".
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17 dezembro 2012

Gosto das madeixas loiras que se ocupam do teu rosto. Gosto do teu silêncio e do teu olhar encorajador. Gosto da maneira como me entendes sem me entenderes. Gosto de como és toda a gente sem seres ninguém.
Já passaram três dias, vêm-me ver..
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16 dezembro 2012


Os reais males da situação dela eram, na verdade, a possibilidade de levar em demasia a sua avante e uma certa propensão para pensar bem demais de si própria..
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14 dezembro 2012


You are my north, my south, my east and my west. My working week, my sunday rest.
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12 dezembro 2012


I don't really know how have I reached this point. I don't care about people, I don't care about school.. I don't really care about anything. I just feel numb.
And to be honest, I'm kinda tired of fighting.
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11 dezembro 2012


She glared at him feeeling the old frustation. Sometimes in his presence she felt the deepest connection to him and other times she felt completely alone, as though any bond to him was her own bitter imagination..
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09 dezembro 2012


I know you care, I know it is always been there but there's trouble ahead and I can feel it..You are just saving yourself when you hide it.
I know you care, I see it in the way you stare as if there was trouble ahead and you knew it.
I used to run down  the stairs to the door and I thought you were there to shape to the confort of us, two lovers locked out of love.
I know it wasn't always wrong but I've never known a winter so cold.. no, i don't want my hands in a coat, but I still hope.. Because this is how things ought to have been and I know the words are there, it wasn't all that it seemed. Why can't I dream?
I know you care.
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08 dezembro 2012


You came just to see how it went, you ended up having to deal with my frustration. The thing is, you are the only one who sees that I'm not here anymore, that this is not me.. but even though you still find yourself shocked with the pills: the ones to make me calm, the ones for making me sleep and then the antidepressants.. You always knew I was sick, but they don't, they can't see me like you do. 
And I feel empty and alone, thorn apart inside. Maybe this is how depression hits, you wake up one morning afraid you are going to live.

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04 dezembro 2012

Porque um bocadinho de ti é tudo porque eu anseio todas as semanas. Anseio pelas nossas conversas sem palavras e por aquele silêncio que é confortável, sem perguntas, sem pedir nada em troca. Mas ao mesmo tempo quero que te vás embora de vez e que pares de me amar para sempre. É como a última fatia do teu bolo preferido, queres comer até que chegue a última, mas não queres que ela acabe. O amor é um lugar estranho.
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