She saw the knife standing on the kitchen counter. Sharpened. It would be so easy to take that pain away. Easy like sunday morning.
She hated herself for thinking about that. But she has been hating herself for a long time, she hates herself more than everyone else does, more than all of them. The only reason for her to be alive is to look after the important people, the ones who need looking after, but even that she can't do properly.
The truth is, she can't handle it. But you don't know that, do you? Of course you don't, she never wanted you to. She keeps it all inside because she rather let the pain destroy her than everyone else.
The knife looked so soft, so gentle and she hold that firmly in her hand.
She remembered how all the smiles keep hurting her cheeks, how you try to fit in but you can't..
She cut a little bit of skin, and then more but it never seemed to be enough. Her belly hurted on the outside and the blood was shedding but she was only trying to kill the thing on the inside. She always is.
